It seems fan reaction to Toilet Crabs was…less than ideal.
I’m sorry this reality is not ready for my big brain ideas.
I’m still gonna post them and hope Mark Cuban(or anyone, I’m open to offers) is crazy enough to give me money for my weird ass ideas
I mean there are dumber ideas out there, right?
Right?
Sometimes my only solace is that if there is a many worlds interpretation, there is a alternate universe me that is rich beyond compare as well as a giant of industry because I came up with a better, greener way to clean your butthole.
So here’s my idea:
A toilet crab is a bioengineered organism about the size of a normal human hand that, like the genetic stock it comes from (The hermit crab), that lives in the throat of your toilet.
When you have done your business, you press a button, and in a Pavlovian response genetically programmed into the organism, the toilet crab comes out and feeds upon the remnants of your fecal matter with it’s sanitary maxillipeds, and wipes clean your anus using the many pairs of legs once it has feasted upon your dark nutrients.
In doing it’s sole purpose, the toilet crab eliminates the need for toilet paper as well as saves water as less flushing is needed. I think we can all agree saving the trees as well as water is quite the noble cause.
Unfortunately, I dont think this reality is quite ready for my ideas.