I’m just still really cheesed you all hayed my bazillion dollar idea involving Toilet Crabs.
Yes I’m still harping on it as I believe repetition is key.
Anyway, more soon(that dosen’t involve shitty poetry or toilet crabs) i promise
I’m just still really cheesed you all hayed my bazillion dollar idea involving Toilet Crabs.
Yes I’m still harping on it as I believe repetition is key.
Anyway, more soon(that dosen’t involve shitty poetry or toilet crabs) i promise
In this season of harvest
And withering
I am a carrion flower
In full bloom
Erraticly saturnine
Unrepentantly majestic
In my charming state
Of decay
Inside of me lives two wolves.
One is “if you’re going to do something, do it right”
The other is “Perfect is the enemy of good”
I starve both of them by fucking off and playing World of Warcraft
A fart, fresh from the buttshole, is fresh sulphur.
Go break wind in a room, leave. Come back after five minutes (this works better if you have bith a closed room, and a raging case of gut trouble, you know the kind) and you will now know the horrors of stale sulphur.
These and other things are what i think of and wonder if it is worthy to post, hence the absence. Apologies.
This is still a thing, i promise.
I’ve just been enjoying life offline
It seems fan reaction to Toilet Crabs was…less than ideal.
I’m sorry this reality is not ready for my big brain ideas.
I’m still gonna post them and hope Mark Cuban(or anyone, I’m open to offers) is crazy enough to give me money for my weird ass ideas
I mean there are dumber ideas out there, right?
Right?
Sometimes my only solace is that if there is a many worlds interpretation, there is a alternate universe me that is rich beyond compare as well as a giant of industry because I came up with a better, greener way to clean your butthole.
So here’s my idea:
A toilet crab is a bioengineered organism about the size of a normal human hand that, like the genetic stock it comes from (The hermit crab), that lives in the throat of your toilet.
When you have done your business, you press a button, and in a Pavlovian response genetically programmed into the organism, the toilet crab comes out and feeds upon the remnants of your fecal matter with it’s sanitary maxillipeds, and wipes clean your anus using the many pairs of legs once it has feasted upon your dark nutrients.
In doing it’s sole purpose, the toilet crab eliminates the need for toilet paper as well as saves water as less flushing is needed. I think we can all agree saving the trees as well as water is quite the noble cause.
Unfortunately, I dont think this reality is quite ready for my ideas.
I’m gonna be one today.
I’m overwhelming myself and still not really getting much headway here, yet I’m not forgetting about this place. mailbag is coming, i promise!
here is my “old man yelling at clouds” moment: When I last was whinging about love and loss and work bullshit and other dumb stuff that irritated me on that other site I once ran, WordPress was more like LiveJournal (and I guess it still is) and less a whole ass ecosystem of Content Management. It has certainly grown in time, but it’s daunting, it shouldn’t be, but i feel like there’s a lot to learn and not a lot of time and i just want to write.
Thankfully, I don’t feel like I have to learn it or else miss the Train of Relevancy as that’s done left the station, clearly, which I also have a bad habit of doing.
Once upon a time, wayyyy back in the dark ages of the 90’s, I had some associations with people of certain digital ill repute. we dicked around on BBS software, webchats, email chains, et cetera. Right when the internet was taking off, one in particular in chat one evening went on about how they honed their HTML skills and suggested how stupid easy it is to learn, not to mention the even easier money they were making.
“Bah”, Teenage, bullheaded me remarked. “Learning HTML is like learning how to write fannnncy macros for WordPerfect. that isn’t programming and I’m not interested in pretty web design.”
They pleaded on again how it’d be a good skill to have in the can, even if it ends up being a flash in the pan and I just absolutely refused to listen because I gave more of a shit about learning how to manipulate Doom WADs and Quake Skins(another thing I also did terrible at and never got out of the gate with, but that’s another story for another time).
fuck me, I should have listened. It would have been good to have the fundamentals instead of having to depend on WYSIWYG design. it would certainly help with this whole need to modify and tinker to my tastes.
This stubborn-assed thinking bleeds over into other things that I get interested in and then once the meat meets the metal, I get all “Whaaaaaahhh I don’t learn shit I ain’t got the time” and trying to wean myself off of that type of thinking has been a challenge.
I heard myself the other day when I downloaded Python to muck around in. About an hour in, I managed to write a simple Hello world print script and said to myself “This is the middle-aged tech enthusiast equivalent of learning to crochet as a hobby”.
Mom was bad about this stuff, too. Picking up a hobby, buying all the shit she needs for it, only to have something else interest her in about 6 months. So it’s generational, I suppose.
Sorry, Kiddo.
Ache ache ache ache all weekend
Never enough time to do what we want, that’s the sure sign of getting older
I mean I got things done and relaxed much as i could but i didn’t do anything real useful against the backdrop of the country collapsing to fucking ashes under these fuckwits
Im just gonna forget everything and play video games for a bit or try to through this damn headache
“I want to shit, but I don’t want to eat” is very much in full force here. I came into this expecting it to be a little more Turnkey and less Homebrew and it’s been a bit of a delicate balance to strike. By no means am I forcing myself to some kind of arbitrary posting schedule but for the maybe 2 of you, I don’t want to keep posting three sentence blurbs about some mucking around behind the scenes every other day. I got this for a year, whether I post every day or never again, and if you know me, i’m all about VALUE.
Just some thoughts to motivate myself to get on. Doing this at 46 is a lot harder than it was at 26. There’s a lot less free time to agonize over a well-beaten, ash-ridden and tar-stained keyboard trying to be witty in between rounds of playing Diablo 2 on my potato PC. I don’t have the patience anymore to reinvent the whole damned wheel just for the sake of authenticity or whatever the fuck I was on about.
Discovering how to do this via phone! Now i can typo all over my lil corner of the internetzors